All posts tagged: letting go

Stop. Breathe. Release.

Sitting in the neon lit room, enclosed by cream walls, I can see speckles of the signature blue trickled throughout the room, in the notepads, the notices on the wall and the student’s vacant gaze. I glance down at the textbook and regurgitate yet another lesson in English 101. Feigning interest, I smile and pretend to be enjoying myself. Days and days go by like this, but the student knows the truth, they can see through my plastic smile, and feel it in their bones. resistance (n): the refusal to accept or comply with something. Resistance shows its destructive face in many ways, acting as the saboteur of our lives: when we decide to follow a creative calling; commit to a health regime; feel the urge to launch a new venture or simply get ourselves out of the present moment into a perceived better one, in my case, lying on the beach somewhere with a pina colada in hand. Resistance seems to come from outside ourselves, like an uncontrollable force emitted from jobs, partners, circumstances that poison us and cause us to be unhappy.  It …

The First Rule of Tinder Is…

… Don’t expect your date to look like his photo. The Second Rule: Drop your expectations dramatically, like 100%. And then some more. And the Third Rule: Swiftly delete your account (well, that’s for you to decide..) I’m an old school gal at heart, and not one who has ever delved into the magical world of online dating, but I thought I’d give it a try. I mean it’s 2015 after all and everyone’s doing it; I’m living in Tokyo and dating is tough for a western girl. So I got one of my closest buddies to sign up with me.  It started out as a joke of course – let’s just join for one month and see what happens; maybe we can meet some guys to take us surfing. Well things didn’t turn out quite like that. There sure are some strange cats lurking on Tinderland. We spent many train rides home swiftly swiping left for horrifyingly unsuitable suitors. There’s the guy who’s married but is looking for a threesome; the Marilyn Manson lookalikes, the redneck from Texas,  and of course the ones with poodle profile …

A Time To Let Loose

This Friday’s upcoming full moon in fun-loving Sagittarius should be called the party moon, and not the strawberry moon as it’s known in the U.S. In contrast to New Moons which represent rebirth and new beginnings, Full Moons embody clarity and obtainment of desire. Basically, every month we get a chance to hone in on our desires, figure out what we really want, and then plant them like seeds into the universe on the eve of New Moon. Then we wait patiently for our intentions to blossom, and on Full Moon simultaneously release what no longer serves us. Aren’t we lucky folk? The moon & me The moon cycles have always been a part of our lives and we can see her effects throughout nature and within ourselves. As Selacia describes on her blog, “The moon governs the natural world as well as our emotions, instincts, intuition, and unconscious. It is related to water, the element often described as being furthest from the rational realm.” We are of course made of 70% water, how can we not …

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I’d been on a nostalgic road trip with my ex. This was no regular ex, but the love of my life, my ex-fiance. my best buddy. He was the closest I’d come to unconditional love, with him I felt truly loved, but of course I didn’t appreciate it at the time, I was young and stupid. Now this was a very surreal feeling. Firstly, I found it strange that he was in my consciousness at all as I hadn’t thought or spoken about him in a long while and hadn’t seen him on Facebook. But when I woke up it felt as real as it did 6 years ago and tears trickled from my eyes. It got me writing – writing about my guilt and regret, my feelings, my resentment, anger and love. I also wrote in gratitude for all the beauty we shared. This sense of sadness stayed with me throughout the day and I wallowed in it a little, I played some Snow Patrol – that always reminds me of him and makes me …

Update on ‘A Month Without Facebook’

So I did it, a whole month without Facebook, and to be honest it felt good. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be and I was far more productive, focused on things that are important to me (as I mentioned in  my previous blog). I felt freer and strangely more empowered. Now I am back on Facebook, and already feel myself falling into old patterns again, and it’s only been a week. Hmmm… The problem is it’s too easy to get sucked into looking at something and then suddenly an hour has gone and I’m browsing through people’s random lives, filling my mind with unnecessary clutter (a similar effect as watching too much TV). This ‘stuff” then subconsciously stays on my mind, and I woke up this morning realising I’d dreamt about someone I hadn’t seen since schooldays. I don’t like this feeling of something having control over me, and I don’t want my mind unknowingly filled with other people’s crap. So I should just delete my account and be done with it… …

A Month Without Facebook

Well 7 days so far, and counting. Inspired by Leo Babauta of Zen Habit’s “A Year of Living Without” blogs I decided to take on the challenge. He is one of my favorite bloggers and every month he writes a beautiful piece on something he’s lived without – be it sugar, sitting all day, restaurants, coffee or all day internet, every blog is insightful and inspiring. I have had a break from Facebook once before but only lasted about a week until I was lured back in. There are of course some things that I love about Facebook, especially as an expat living abroad, but lately it’s felt more like an energy vampire than a friend. This past week I have been super productive. I feel like I’ve had more time (and energy) to focus on things that I love doing or that I’ve wanted to start but have procrastinated over. So far this week I’ve: – started going to early morning chi kung classes in the park (followed by some yoga) – started learning Chinese – been blogging again – …

Aaah Nostalgia…

nos·tal·gia:  A sentimentality for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.   I am busy preparing for my move to Taiwan, and part of that preparation is a major decluttering. I’ve had some boxes and bags stored at my parent’s farm for a few years now and it’s finally time to let them go. Sometimes I feel like life is a beautiful act of learning to let go. Releasing our attachment to physical forms that weigh us down and make us heavy, releasing our attachment to people, outcomes, feelings and experiences; freeing us up for the new that life has to offer. I’ll never forget the lightness I felt when I left South Africa to live in Japan a few years back, leaving with nothing but my backpack and a small carry bag. It was liberating! And now as I venture out into the world again, this time I plan to be gone for a lot longer so I want to free myself up  just a little more. Whilst decluttering, …

I couldn’t have said it better than this…

Originally posted on wildheart:
ser·en·dip·i·ty (noun); finding something wonderful without looking for it. see also: luck, blessing, fortune, fate How many times have I wanted something, and realized I really didn’t want it once I got it? I’ve twisted myself into shapes I couldn’t make and squeezed myself into places I couldn’t fit. The things that bring me the most happiness simply happen. Life is full of surprises. It is unpredictable – uncontrollable. The only way to affirm my luck is to let go, abandon concern for gains or losses, and live mindfully wherever life takes me. To seize every chance to be of service. To let things go and take things on with a peaceful mind and body. Using wisdom to sow the seeds of my blessings makes every day a good day.

Day 7: A new beginning?

Today was the 12/12/2012, and at 12 minutes past 12 my mom and I were meditating on the sand at Ballito beach. There was a phenomenal group energy present and it was an awesome experience to have the waves crashing in the background. So what was so special about today? There’s been a lot of conspiracies going around that the world is ending this December, and this is not entirely untrue. I believe that the date 12.12.2012 represents a window of possibility for an evolutionary leap into a new earth, an earth operating on a higher spiritual vibration. And because the whole planet and every thing on it is energy, including ourselves, there will be energetic shifts happening within us too, whether we accept it or not. It also represents the closing of a chapter. Interestingly, in numerology 12 signifies completion, the Divine Mother/Feminine, creative capacity, cosmic harmony and spiritual order. It’s really about releasing old patterns and beliefs that are no longer serving us – things like unworthiness, guilt, resentment, etc. Anything that’s holding you back …

Day 6: Getting into the flow

Today’s post is inspired by a special friend of mine who has been through a lot of change lately. In fact, this seems to be a pattern in many people’s lives, including my own. So how can we calm ourselves in these overwhelming times and learn to let go of the reins a bit? First, we have to accept what is, knowing that we won’t feel this way forever and things will change soon enough. And then they’ll change again. And again. Isn’t that the beauty of life? We can view the unknown from a place of fear or we can embrace it and feel excited about the future, knowing that there’s a reason we are going through whatever we are going through right now, and in the end it all works out for the greater good. So instead of fighting and resisting, we learn to accept things as they are and imagine them as we’d like them to be. We meditate. We move – yoga, chi kung or a walk on the beach (whatever …

Day 3: Learning to let go of ‘perfection’

“If you can let go of imperfection, perfection will appear by itself .” – Deepak Chopra Everyday I try and let go a little of how I think I should look, act and feel. I know I put too much pressure on myself, always trying to be and do my best and yet never really feeling like it’s enough. This super critical attitude  shines a spotlight on my imperfections which leaves me feeling even less perfect than before. So essentially I’m creating this cage of imperfection when in fact I should just be basking in the absolute beauty of this moment, the amazingness of how our human bodies work, the perfection that is present in every living thing and the interconnectedness of it all.

The thing about Expectation…

Today I find myself in Mumbai International airport yet again, 5 months and 1 week too early. I arrived here exactly 3 weeks ago with the intention of completing a 6 month Advanced Ayurveda & Yoga course at a reputable institution in Coimbatore (Tamil Nadu) and ofcourse lose myself in yoga and meditation bliss. Things didn’t turn out quite as planned. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE India… this is my third visit, and every time I come I fall more in love with this intriguing  country. It’s like nowehere I’ve ever been before and yet feels like home. This time would prove to be a completely different experience. So, three weeks ago I arrived in Coimbatore, super excited and ready for my next adventure. I wasn’t expecting much from Coimbatore, it’s an industrial hub afterall and not the kind of place that attracts tourists. But I could handle that, I wanted traditional teachings passed down through direct lineage taught in an authentic environment – I had even prepared myself for the cold showers. The …