All posts tagged: releasing patterns

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I’d been on a nostalgic road trip with my ex. This was no regular ex, but the love of my life, my ex-fiance. my best buddy. He was the closest I’d come to unconditional love, with him I felt truly loved, but of course I didn’t appreciate it at the time, I was young and stupid. Now this was a very surreal feeling. Firstly, I found it strange that he was in my consciousness at all as I hadn’t thought or spoken about him in a long while and hadn’t seen him on Facebook. But when I woke up it felt as real as it did 6 years ago and tears trickled from my eyes. It got me writing – writing about my guilt and regret, my feelings, my resentment, anger and love. I also wrote in gratitude for all the beauty we shared. This sense of sadness stayed with me throughout the day and I wallowed in it a little, I played some Snow Patrol – that always reminds me of him and makes me …