All posts tagged: life

Slowly, Slowly…

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Step by step. I placed one foot in front of the other, pressing gently into the wooden steps as I made my ascent. Up, up and further up I went, slowly, steadily, with ease and flow. Until soon these steps became somewhat effortless, as if I was floating up the mountain. This was my experience hiking up Shoushan 壽山 (Monkey Mountain) today; very unusual for me because usually I’m puffing and panting all the way to the top. So what was so special about today? I decided to take it slow. I wanted to see what it felt like to feel each step, and keep my awareness there in that moment. To my surprise, something magical happened. I hiked and hiked and didn’t have to stop once along the way. My heart rate stayed steady, I felt full of strength, like I could go on forever. I felt connected to my surroundings – the beautiful old trees, butterflies, and monkeys. Perhaps because today I actually took time to look around, instead of forging ahead. Everything seemed wondrous. When someone came past me, I felt myself wanting …

Thoughts Become Things

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Well that sounds easy enough. I’ll just think about all the things I want in my life and they’ll manifest NOW! Haha if only it was that simple. Well, it could be if we were in a place of complete allowing. Our intentions would be pure, our focus razor-sharp, and in an instant our desires would be fulfilled. But like everything in our perfect universe, this principle is based on that of duality, and on the opposite end of the spectrum we have resistance. allowing <<<  >>>  resistance Resistance is what ultimately stops us from fulfilling our desires. It keeps us stuck in the lack of it (the job/healthy body/relationship/money, etc.) and draws that which is like itself towards us. Haven’t you noticed when you don’t have resistance to something, how easily it comes into your life? It’s like the more you want something from a place of need, the more resistance is created, and the harder it is to get it. “If you are resisting anything, you are focused upon it, pushing against it, and activating the vibration of …

Where’s Home?

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They say ‘home is where your heart is’, but what does that mean anyway? That ‘home’ is with the person or place you love the most? I’ve had many physical homes on the path that I’ve chosen, enjoying the newness of setting up house in foreign lands. Of course, South Africa will always be my ‘home’, the place where I was born and where my family and friends reside. But as I travel longer and longer on this path, I’m learning to find my home in my heart. Because ultimately isn’t that where all the love in the entire universe resides? Right here, inside my tiny little heart. And the further I seem to travel, the closer I get to myself. Layers unfold, judgements melt, realisations occur, here, now. Sometimes all I really want to do is squeeze someone I love, and I can’t, and that reminds me of my aloneness. But then I remember that life is transient, people come, people go, change occurs whether we like it or not. And all we really have is …

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

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I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I’d been on a nostalgic road trip with my ex. This was no regular ex, but the love of my life, my ex-fiance. my best buddy. He was the closest I’d come to unconditional love, with him I felt truly loved, but of course I didn’t appreciate it at the time, I was young and stupid. Now this was a very surreal feeling. Firstly, I found it strange that he was in my consciousness at all as I hadn’t thought or spoken about him in a long while and hadn’t seen him on Facebook. But when I woke up it felt as real as it did 6 years ago and tears trickled from my eyes. It got me writing – writing about my guilt and regret, my feelings, my resentment, anger and love. I also wrote in gratitude for all the beauty we shared. This sense of sadness stayed with me throughout the day and I wallowed in it a little, I played some Snow Patrol – that always reminds me of him and makes me …

Update on ‘A Month Without Facebook’

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So I did it, a whole month without Facebook, and to be honest it felt good. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be and I was far more productive, focused on things that are important to me (as I mentioned in  my previous blog). I felt freer and strangely more empowered. Now I am back on Facebook, and already feel myself falling into old patterns again, and it’s only been a week. Hmmm… The problem is it’s too easy to get sucked into looking at something and then suddenly an hour has gone and I’m browsing through people’s random lives, filling my mind with unnecessary clutter (a similar effect as watching too much TV). This ‘stuff” then subconsciously stays on my mind, and I woke up this morning realising I’d dreamt about someone I hadn’t seen since schooldays. I don’t like this feeling of something having control over me, and I don’t want my mind unknowingly filled with other people’s crap. So I should just delete my account and be done with it… …

Put Me In Your Suitcase…

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Let me help you pack ‘Cause you’re never coming backNo, you’re never coming backCook me in your breakfastAnd put me on your plate‘Cause you know I taste greatYeah, you know I taste great Devendra Banhart “At the Hop” The first time I heard this song was on a mix tape that my friend made me. I was leaving Johannesburg and moving back to my hometown Durban. Paul was the Creative Director at the company I worked for – I always remember making fun of him. He was this 40-something, glasses-wearing, non-drinking, vegetarian that lived in hip Melville and listened to strange folk music. I always thought he was cool in an odd way and loved hanging with him, as friends. At the time I was in my early twenties – young, a little self-obsessed, partying and definitely still eating meat. Put me in your dry dreamOr put me in your wetIf you haven’t yetNo, if you haven’t yetLight me with your candleAnd watch the flames grow highNo, it doesn’t have to tryIt doesn’t have to try I never …

Hanging at ‘always a+’ Cafe

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I love finding new cafes to hang out at, and since I’ve moved to my new hood, the Cultural Centre area in Kaohsiung, I’ve been lucky enough to come across many hidden little gems. I sometimes feel like I’m back in Japan and love it. This morning I met my student at always a+ cafe, just 5 minutes up the road from my house. They offer brunch (open at 8am) and lunch sets – I had Korean kimchi style ramen and my student had Japanese udon noodles. Simply delicious and reasonably priced! It came with a choice of coffee, green or black tea. I really like that there’s so much light inside the cafe and the counters provide an ideal workspace. And there is, of course, free wi-fi. They also play great music (this morning was a repeat of The Lumineers album unplugged), at just the right volume. I’ll most definitely be back for a visit soon. If you want to check it out, here’s the address, it’s just off Zhongshan 2nd Road in Qianjin …

A Month Without Facebook

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Well 7 days so far, and counting. Inspired by Leo Babauta of Zen Habit’s “A Year of Living Without” blogs I decided to take on the challenge. He is one of my favorite bloggers and every month he writes a beautiful piece on something he’s lived without – be it sugar, sitting all day, restaurants, coffee or all day internet, every blog is insightful and inspiring. I have had a break from Facebook once before but only lasted about a week until I was lured back in. There are of course some things that I love about Facebook, especially as an expat living abroad, but lately it’s felt more like an energy vampire than a friend. This past week I have been super productive. I feel like I’ve had more time (and energy) to focus on things that I love doing or that I’ve wanted to start but have procrastinated over. So far this week I’ve: – started going to early morning chi kung classes in the park (followed by some yoga) – started learning Chinese – been blogging again – …

The Power of ‘Shreem’

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I’ve started doing my daily mantra meditation again and it feels good. Having experimented with  different mantras over the years, I seem to be pulled back to the one that my guru Christine (beautiful yogi and friend) gave me years ago. It was a gift offered to me after I completed by Yoga Teacher Training in 2008. At the time I was told that we shouldn’t share our special mantra with anyone as it would lose its power (I think this is traditional TM meditation practice), but I feel that the mantras are universal and all-powerful, so why can’t they be shared? We are, after all, one. What is Mantra Chanting Simply put, each mantra represents a certain sound frequency (energy) that dates back to ancient times. Mantras work on the principle of ‘like attracts like’, so the more you chant a specific mantra, the more those qualities will be developed in you. Mantras are vibrations, and as we know, we are made of energy, each vibrating at a different frequency – mantras have the power …

Taste Totally

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I’ve been thinking a lot about balance lately… mostly how I can get more of it in my life. The thing is, it seems balance can’t be forced. After all, it’s a natural law of the universe. I love this story from “The Book of Understanding” by OSHO: “In paradise one afternoon, in its most famous cafe, Lao Tzu, Confucius, and Buddha are sitting and chatting. The waiter comes with a tray that holds three glasses of the juice called “Life,” and offers them. Buddha immediately closes his eyes and refuses; he says, “Life is misery.” Confucius closes his eyes halfway – he is a middlist, and asks the waiter to give him the glass. He would like to have a sip – but just a sip, because without tasting how can one say whether life is misery or not? Confucius had a scientific mind; he was not much of a mystic, he had a very pragmatic, earthbound mind. He takes a sip and he says, “Buddha is right – life is misery.” Lao Tzu takes …

What Ananda Taught Us

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A great Buddhist story from a book I’m reading (Awakening The Buddha Within) beautifully describes the balance between effort and effortlessness. It goes like this: “By the time Buddha became ill and died, he had been teaching for 45 years and many of his disciples had become enlightened. One who had not was Buddha’s ever-present attendant, Ananda. This might be seem strange because of all the disciples, Ananda had heard every word that the Buddha taught and memorised them all. But, due to his busy schedule, Ananda had little time for his own solitary meditation practice. Several months after the Buddha’s death, it became imperative for Ananda to become enlightened. The First Council was to take place in order to recite and codify all the teachings spoken by Buddha. Ananda was essential to this meeting, however, because he wasnt enlightened, he wasnt qualified to attend. Ananda did the only thing he could do under the circumstances: he went into retreat, a meditation marathon, striving round-the- clock for enlightenment. Finally it was the morning of the …

Lonely Isn’t a Dirty Word

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It’s simply a momentary state of being. It’s not the unspeakable demon that we sometimes prescribe it to be. It doesn’t need to be suffocated or suppressed. Perhaps it just needs to be recognised and nurtured. Maybe it just needs a little love. Not the kind of love that’s found in externals, but rather that deep, deep wholeness that we all feel oh so deep within. You know what I’m talking about. You know that you really are loved. You really are beautiful. You really are perfect, just as you are. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself otherwise, but deep down you know. “Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  ~ Rumi I know that sometimes it can feel like you really are alone and infinitesimal in this big, colossal world. But don’t forget that every day, every step, every thought you think and feeling you feel, Mother Earth is there supporting you. Enveloping you in her sturdy grounds …

Do Something Good

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“We are visitors on this planet. We are here for ninety, or a hundred years at the very most. During that period we must try to do something good, something useful with our lives. Try to be at peace with yourself and help others share that peace. If you contribute to other people’s happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life.” – Dalai Lama (Awakening the Buddha Within, Lama Surya Das)

Into The Wild

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“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild