All posts filed under: Letting Go

Stop. Breathe. Release.

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Sitting in the neon lit room, enclosed by cream walls, I can see speckles of the signature blue trickled throughout the room, in the notepads, the notices on the wall and the student’s vacant gaze. I glance down at the textbook and regurgitate yet another lesson in English 101. Feigning interest, I smile and pretend to be enjoying myself. Days and days go by like this, but the student knows the truth, they can see through my plastic smile, and feel it in their bones. resistance (n): the refusal to accept or comply with something. Resistance shows its destructive face in many ways, acting as the saboteur of our lives: when we decide to follow a creative calling; commit to a health regime; feel the urge to launch a new venture or simply get ourselves out of the present moment into a perceived better one, in my case, lying on the beach somewhere with a pina colada in hand. Resistance seems to come from outside ourselves, like an uncontrollable force emitted from jobs, partners, circumstances that poison us and cause us to be unhappy.  It …

The First Rule of Tinder Is…

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… Don’t expect your date to look like his photo. The Second Rule: Drop your expectations dramatically, like 100%. And then some more. And the Third Rule: Swiftly delete your account (well, that’s for you to decide..) I’m an old school gal at heart, and not one who has ever delved into the magical world of online dating, but I thought I’d give it a try. I mean it’s 2015 after all and everyone’s doing it; I’m living in Tokyo and dating is tough for a western girl. So I got one of my closest buddies to sign up with me.  It started out as a joke of course – let’s just join for one month and see what happens; maybe we can meet some guys to take us surfing. Well things didn’t turn out quite like that. There sure are some strange cats lurking on Tinderland. We spent many train rides home swiftly swiping left for horrifyingly unsuitable suitors. There’s the guy who’s married but is looking for a threesome; the Marilyn Manson lookalikes, the redneck from Texas,  and of course the ones with poodle profile …

Update on ‘A Month Without Facebook’

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So I did it, a whole month without Facebook, and to be honest it felt good. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be and I was far more productive, focused on things that are important to me (as I mentioned in  my previous blog). I felt freer and strangely more empowered. Now I am back on Facebook, and already feel myself falling into old patterns again, and it’s only been a week. Hmmm… The problem is it’s too easy to get sucked into looking at something and then suddenly an hour has gone and I’m browsing through people’s random lives, filling my mind with unnecessary clutter (a similar effect as watching too much TV). This ‘stuff” then subconsciously stays on my mind, and I woke up this morning realising I’d dreamt about someone I hadn’t seen since schooldays. I don’t like this feeling of something having control over me, and I don’t want my mind unknowingly filled with other people’s crap. So I should just delete my account and be done with it… …

A Month Without Facebook

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Well 7 days so far, and counting. Inspired by Leo Babauta of Zen Habit’s “A Year of Living Without” blogs I decided to take on the challenge. He is one of my favorite bloggers and every month he writes a beautiful piece on something he’s lived without – be it sugar, sitting all day, restaurants, coffee or all day internet, every blog is insightful and inspiring. I have had a break from Facebook once before but only lasted about a week until I was lured back in. There are of course some things that I love about Facebook, especially as an expat living abroad, but lately it’s felt more like an energy vampire than a friend. This past week I have been super productive. I feel like I’ve had more time (and energy) to focus on things that I love doing or that I’ve wanted to start but have procrastinated over. So far this week I’ve: – started going to early morning chi kung classes in the park (followed by some yoga) – started learning Chinese – been blogging again – …

Food. Shelter. Love.

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What else do you need? I really enjoyed this recent Ted Talk by Mathias Lefebvre (aka Piano Man). His message is simple yet profound. And although it sounds idealistic and completely impossible in this current state of living, it’s most definitely something to aspire to. He asks us this question – what do we truly need to be happy in our lives? It’s a lot, LOT less than we think.

What Ananda Taught Us

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A great Buddhist story from a book I’m reading (Awakening The Buddha Within) beautifully describes the balance between effort and effortlessness. It goes like this: “By the time Buddha became ill and died, he had been teaching for 45 years and many of his disciples had become enlightened. One who had not was Buddha’s ever-present attendant, Ananda. This might be seem strange because of all the disciples, Ananda had heard every word that the Buddha taught and memorised them all. But, due to his busy schedule, Ananda had little time for his own solitary meditation practice. Several months after the Buddha’s death, it became imperative for Ananda to become enlightened. The First Council was to take place in order to recite and codify all the teachings spoken by Buddha. Ananda was essential to this meeting, however, because he wasnt enlightened, he wasnt qualified to attend. Ananda did the only thing he could do under the circumstances: he went into retreat, a meditation marathon, striving round-the- clock for enlightenment. Finally it was the morning of the …

Aaah Nostalgia…

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nos·tal·gia:  A sentimentality for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.   I am busy preparing for my move to Taiwan, and part of that preparation is a major decluttering. I’ve had some boxes and bags stored at my parent’s farm for a few years now and it’s finally time to let them go. Sometimes I feel like life is a beautiful act of learning to let go. Releasing our attachment to physical forms that weigh us down and make us heavy, releasing our attachment to people, outcomes, feelings and experiences; freeing us up for the new that life has to offer. I’ll never forget the lightness I felt when I left South Africa to live in Japan a few years back, leaving with nothing but my backpack and a small carry bag. It was liberating! And now as I venture out into the world again, this time I plan to be gone for a lot longer so I want to free myself up  just a little more. Whilst decluttering, …

Feel Good Regardless

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A major lesson I’ve had to learn is that you really can’t change people. Even though you really want to help them and hate to see them in pain and deep down you ‘know’ that they’d be happier if they did such and such. But who are we to make this decision? And who are we to rob them of their experience? After all isn’t that what we’ve come here to do… live, learn, grow and hopefully evolve to a higher consciousness. Sometimes I feel like I get caught up in stuff that’s just really not worth getting caught up over… other people’s stuff that I can’t control. I want to reach a place of not needing the condition to change to feel good: “I want to enjoy the benefit of unconditional love. I want the benefit of not needing a condition to change at all. I want the benefit of my focus to be so good that I can focus so clearly, so precisely, so deliberately, that I can feel good, only good about this …

I couldn’t have said it better than this…

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Originally posted on wildheart:
ser·en·dip·i·ty (noun); finding something wonderful without looking for it. see also: luck, blessing, fortune, fate How many times have I wanted something, and realized I really didn’t want it once I got it? I’ve twisted myself into shapes I couldn’t make and squeezed myself into places I couldn’t fit. The things that bring me the most happiness simply happen. Life is full of surprises. It is unpredictable – uncontrollable. The only way to affirm my luck is to let go, abandon concern for gains or losses, and live mindfully wherever life takes me. To seize every chance to be of service. To let things go and take things on with a peaceful mind and body. Using wisdom to sow the seeds of my blessings makes every day a good day.

Day 7: A new beginning?

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Today was the 12/12/2012, and at 12 minutes past 12 my mom and I were meditating on the sand at Ballito beach. There was a phenomenal group energy present and it was an awesome experience to have the waves crashing in the background. So what was so special about today? There’s been a lot of conspiracies going around that the world is ending this December, and this is not entirely untrue. I believe that the date 12.12.2012 represents a window of possibility for an evolutionary leap into a new earth, an earth operating on a higher spiritual vibration. And because the whole planet and every thing on it is energy, including ourselves, there will be energetic shifts happening within us too, whether we accept it or not. It also represents the closing of a chapter. Interestingly, in numerology 12 signifies completion, the Divine Mother/Feminine, creative capacity, cosmic harmony and spiritual order. It’s really about releasing old patterns and beliefs that are no longer serving us – things like unworthiness, guilt, resentment, etc. Anything that’s holding you back …

Day 6: Getting into the flow

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Today’s post is inspired by a special friend of mine who has been through a lot of change lately. In fact, this seems to be a pattern in many people’s lives, including my own. So how can we calm ourselves in these overwhelming times and learn to let go of the reins a bit? First, we have to accept what is, knowing that we won’t feel this way forever and things will change soon enough. And then they’ll change again. And again. Isn’t that the beauty of life? We can view the unknown from a place of fear or we can embrace it and feel excited about the future, knowing that there’s a reason we are going through whatever we are going through right now, and in the end it all works out for the greater good. So instead of fighting and resisting, we learn to accept things as they are and imagine them as we’d like them to be. We meditate. We move – yoga, chi kung or a walk on the beach (whatever …

Day 5: Our body cells are consciousness

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“When you think a thought you offer a vibration that is emphatically influential to the vibration of your body. But your body isn’t listening and rejecting, your body is just in the proximity of it and benefiting by the vibration or not. Being lifted and buoyed by it; being allowed by it or being hindered by it.” I understand the interconnectedness of body and mind but until now I hadn’t fully grasped the fact that as we are thinking we are manifesting, automatically, whether we like it or not. But it makes perfect sense – my body is a reflection of my emotional and mental state and even though right now it’s under a bit of stress and strain, I have the power through my thoughts and visualisation to change this reality. How amazing is that! I think the key is to start thinking of ourselves as vibrational beings, instead of stuck physical mass. Just think what fun we can have in our lives as we co-create with our ever-abundant, beautiful universe. “My cells are vibrational …

Day 4: Releasing tightness

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It feels so good to just sit in meditation and actually feel your body relax completely. That feeling of letting go and surrendering into the moment. Just sitting, focusing on your breath with nothing else to do except be present. We carry around so much tension in our bodies, day in and day out, the least we can do is give ourselves 15 minutes a day to just let go. As we release tightness in the body, we release tightness in the mind. I reckon that’s something worth making time for.

Day 3: Learning to let go of ‘perfection’

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“If you can let go of imperfection, perfection will appear by itself .” – Deepak Chopra Everyday I try and let go a little of how I think I should look, act and feel. I know I put too much pressure on myself, always trying to be and do my best and yet never really feeling like it’s enough. This super critical attitude  shines a spotlight on my imperfections which leaves me feeling even less perfect than before. So essentially I’m creating this cage of imperfection when in fact I should just be basking in the absolute beauty of this moment, the amazingness of how our human bodies work, the perfection that is present in every living thing and the interconnectedness of it all.

Day 2: Accepting what is

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Today I really wanted to go to tai chi, I mean REALLY wanted to go. But I couldn’t – I’ve had glandular fever for the past few months and symptoms seem to vary dramatically day-to-day. I was so excited because I haven’t been able to do any exercise at all and the idea of some movement was super appealing. Anyway, one thing I have learnt through this ordeal is the value in accepting what is, which doesn’t mean giving up and wallowing in negativity. It simply means “ok I feel like this today but it is going to pass and I will feel better soon”. I can reach for a better feeling place (even if that’s just a feeling of hope) and I can remember what it feels like to be well and healthy and energetic. I can imagine myself doing cartwheels on the sand and swimming in the ocean and having fun with my friends… I can almost feel it. It’s about finding that place of non-resistance instead of fighting against my body and …

Day 1: Letting go of S

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S has been a part of my life ‘on and off’ for the past few months, until I finally decided last Monday that there’ll be no more on time for us. What have I learnt through this experience? I’ve learnt that when you feel like someone is making more withdrawals than deposits into your life, you’ll be out of balance and in the negative before you know it. (Ref: 10 signs it’s time to let go) I’ve learnt that whatever relationships I’ve attracted into my life at this moment are exactly what I need for my evolvement through this life journey, and I’m grateful for every one of them. I’ve learnt that people’s actions really do speak louder than words and their depth can never be overvalued. I’ve learnt that the most important thing that you can do for yourself in any given moment is to feel good, and if a situation is leaving you feeling bad then you’ve gotta reach for a better feeling place. (thanks Abraham Hicks!) I’ve learnt that we attract what we think …