All posts tagged: love

The First Rule of Tinder Is…

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… Don’t expect your date to look like his photo. The Second Rule: Drop your expectations dramatically, like 100%. And then some more. And the Third Rule: Swiftly delete your account (well, that’s for you to decide..) I’m an old school gal at heart, and not one who has ever delved into the magical world of online dating, but I thought I’d give it a try. I mean it’s 2015 after all and everyone’s doing it; I’m living in Tokyo and dating is tough for a western girl. So I got one of my closest buddies to sign up with me.  It started out as a joke of course – let’s just join for one month and see what happens; maybe we can meet some guys to take us surfing. Well things didn’t turn out quite like that. There sure are some strange cats lurking on Tinderland. We spent many train rides home swiftly swiping left for horrifyingly unsuitable suitors. There’s the guy who’s married but is looking for a threesome; the Marilyn Manson lookalikes, the redneck from Texas,  and of course the ones with poodle profile …

Where’s Home?

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They say ‘home is where your heart is’, but what does that mean anyway? That ‘home’ is with the person or place you love the most? I’ve had many physical homes on the path that I’ve chosen, enjoying the newness of setting up house in foreign lands. Of course, South Africa will always be my ‘home’, the place where I was born and where my family and friends reside. But as I travel longer and longer on this path, I’m learning to find my home in my heart. Because ultimately isn’t that where all the love in the entire universe resides? Right here, inside my tiny little heart. And the further I seem to travel, the closer I get to myself. Layers unfold, judgements melt, realisations occur, here, now. Sometimes all I really want to do is squeeze someone I love, and I can’t, and that reminds me of my aloneness. But then I remember that life is transient, people come, people go, change occurs whether we like it or not. And all we really have is …

The Place That Stole My Heart

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I spent the last week in a very special place, with a very special person (my mama) in a little town tucked away on an island in Northern Palawan, Philippines. What makes this little town so special you ask? Perhaps it is its quaint and quirky feel; the fact that it essentially only has 3 main roads running throughout; a plethora of beautiful islands surrounding it; or that it takes a 6 hour bumpy and sometimes dangerous van ride from the island’s main city to access this little gem. The long journey there makes the final destination ever more so inviting. I like that there is no electricity though out the town from 6am to 2pm daily, and that I can walk from one end to the other by foot or take a cheap tricycle ride for only 50 pesos ($1). This town has a certain charisma, its beauty subtly draws you in and begs you to let go and enjoy the simple pleasures of island life. It’s really hard not to be happy in a place like this, …

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

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I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I’d been on a nostalgic road trip with my ex. This was no regular ex, but the love of my life, my ex-fiance. my best buddy. He was the closest I’d come to unconditional love, with him I felt truly loved, but of course I didn’t appreciate it at the time, I was young and stupid. Now this was a very surreal feeling. Firstly, I found it strange that he was in my consciousness at all as I hadn’t thought or spoken about him in a long while and hadn’t seen him on Facebook. But when I woke up it felt as real as it did 6 years ago and tears trickled from my eyes. It got me writing – writing about my guilt and regret, my feelings, my resentment, anger and love. I also wrote in gratitude for all the beauty we shared. This sense of sadness stayed with me throughout the day and I wallowed in it a little, I played some Snow Patrol – that always reminds me of him and makes me …

Put Me In Your Suitcase…

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Let me help you pack ‘Cause you’re never coming backNo, you’re never coming backCook me in your breakfastAnd put me on your plate‘Cause you know I taste greatYeah, you know I taste great Devendra Banhart “At the Hop” The first time I heard this song was on a mix tape that my friend made me. I was leaving Johannesburg and moving back to my hometown Durban. Paul was the Creative Director at the company I worked for – I always remember making fun of him. He was this 40-something, glasses-wearing, non-drinking, vegetarian that lived in hip Melville and listened to strange folk music. I always thought he was cool in an odd way and loved hanging with him, as friends. At the time I was in my early twenties – young, a little self-obsessed, partying and definitely still eating meat. Put me in your dry dreamOr put me in your wetIf you haven’t yetNo, if you haven’t yetLight me with your candleAnd watch the flames grow highNo, it doesn’t have to tryIt doesn’t have to try I never …

Food. Shelter. Love.

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What else do you need? I really enjoyed this recent Ted Talk by Mathias Lefebvre (aka Piano Man). His message is simple yet profound. And although it sounds idealistic and completely impossible in this current state of living, it’s most definitely something to aspire to. He asks us this question – what do we truly need to be happy in our lives? It’s a lot, LOT less than we think.

The Power of ‘Shreem’

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I’ve started doing my daily mantra meditation again and it feels good. Having experimented with  different mantras over the years, I seem to be pulled back to the one that my guru Christine (beautiful yogi and friend) gave me years ago. It was a gift offered to me after I completed by Yoga Teacher Training in 2008. At the time I was told that we shouldn’t share our special mantra with anyone as it would lose its power (I think this is traditional TM meditation practice), but I feel that the mantras are universal and all-powerful, so why can’t they be shared? We are, after all, one. What is Mantra Chanting Simply put, each mantra represents a certain sound frequency (energy) that dates back to ancient times. Mantras work on the principle of ‘like attracts like’, so the more you chant a specific mantra, the more those qualities will be developed in you. Mantras are vibrations, and as we know, we are made of energy, each vibrating at a different frequency – mantras have the power …

Lonely Isn’t a Dirty Word

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It’s simply a momentary state of being. It’s not the unspeakable demon that we sometimes prescribe it to be. It doesn’t need to be suffocated or suppressed. Perhaps it just needs to be recognised and nurtured. Maybe it just needs a little love. Not the kind of love that’s found in externals, but rather that deep, deep wholeness that we all feel oh so deep within. You know what I’m talking about. You know that you really are loved. You really are beautiful. You really are perfect, just as you are. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself otherwise, but deep down you know. “Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  ~ Rumi I know that sometimes it can feel like you really are alone and infinitesimal in this big, colossal world. But don’t forget that every day, every step, every thought you think and feeling you feel, Mother Earth is there supporting you. Enveloping you in her sturdy grounds …

Outside, By Your Doorstep

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well i’d like to think i’m the mess you’d wear with pride. like some empty dress on the bed you’ve layed out for tonight. maybe i’ll tell you sometime. time. sometime. and you were right. right. you were right. outside, by your doorstep in a worn out suit and tie. i’ll wait for you to come down. where you’ll find me. where we’ll shine. oh, – Band Of Horses (‘I Go To The Barn Because I Like The‘ lyrics)

Everything Starts With Love

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I have never been so indecisive in my life. Seriously, I am confused as hell and change my mind every week about what I’m going to do with my life. I feel like I’m living in a confused state of limbo. And these are not simple decisions like if I should have the green tea or chai, it’s life changing stuff and perhaps that’s why I’m fluttering so much. I’ve even considered asking my Homeopath for a decisiveness remedy…. Wayne is that even possible?!? I’ve been trying to apply the Abraham principle of observing your emotions and following what feels good. But wow it seems my emotional state is still so dependent on external factors and that this is leading me down the wrong road, hence the constant mind-changing. I was reminded today about how important it is to live in the present and enjoy the now for what it is. And my present really is spectacular. I was also reminded that love is the basis of everything. My dilemma is should I leave South …

Let’s Play

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“If we see a child who is two or three, we find a free human. Why? Because this human does whatever he/she wants to do. The human is completely wild. Just like a flower, a tree, or an animal that has not been domesticated – wild! And if we observe two year olds, we find that most of the time these humans have a big smile on their face and they’re having fun. They are exploring the world. They are not afraid to play. They don’t worry about the past, don’t care about the future, and only live in the present moment. Very young children are not afraid to express what they feel. They are so loving that if they perceive love, they melt into love. They are not afraid to love at all. That is the description of a normal human being. Our normal human tendency is to enjoy life, to play, to explore, to be happy, and to love.” – don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements)

Let Yourself Be Seen

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I saw this talk by Brene Brown years ago, it’s such a beautiful message that I had to share. I’ve always known that I struggle with vulnerability, but I didn’t realise just how much until recently. I can now see this pattern that has filtered through my life and the effects on a physical as well as mental level. But we start to heal when we become conscious, and every day is an opportunity to open up a little more, especially when I feel like closing down. “This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee – and that’s really hard; to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” Just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable …

“Without You I’m Nothing”

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It’s all too often that I hear people talk about their partners as the ones that make them complete, that fill an empty void inside them. And that literally they would be nothing without them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the love. I just wonder if people actually think about what they’re saying when they make such vivid statements as these. It makes me wonder how many relationships are based on unconditional love grounded in spirit, and how many are based purely on need, where the ego rules. “Whatever the need is, the person who fills it becomes the source of love.” (Deepak Chopra) It saddens me that people feel so inadequate that they need another to make them whole. Instead of searching for an external being to fulfill us, we should be reaching within and tapping into the source of everlasting love that is always present. And once realised, we are capable of loving and being loved wholly, unconditionally, on a deeper level. “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all …

I Like You A Lot

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“I really like you, Midori. A lot.” “How much is a lot?” “Like a spring bear,” I said. “A spring bear?” Midori looked up again. “What’s that all about? A spring bear.” “You’re walking through a field all by yourself one day in spring, and this sweet little bear cub with velvet fur and shiny little eyes comes walking along. And he says to you, “Hi, there, little lady. Want to tumble with me?’ So you and the bear cub spend the whole day in each other’s arms, tumbling down this clover-covered hill. Nice, huh?” “Yeah. Really nice.” “That’s how much I like you.” ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Love

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“This love is based on freedom, not expectation or need. It’s wings take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.”

Feel Good Regardless

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A major lesson I’ve had to learn is that you really can’t change people. Even though you really want to help them and hate to see them in pain and deep down you ‘know’ that they’d be happier if they did such and such. But who are we to make this decision? And who are we to rob them of their experience? After all isn’t that what we’ve come here to do… live, learn, grow and hopefully evolve to a higher consciousness. Sometimes I feel like I get caught up in stuff that’s just really not worth getting caught up over… other people’s stuff that I can’t control. I want to reach a place of not needing the condition to change to feel good: “I want to enjoy the benefit of unconditional love. I want the benefit of not needing a condition to change at all. I want the benefit of my focus to be so good that I can focus so clearly, so precisely, so deliberately, that I can feel good, only good about this …